Kayise Ngqula’s journey to healing and embracing life after her husband’s death

Just a year ago she was a newlywed, a new mother and was on top of the world career wise.

Then one day, her whole world changed. Kayise Ngqula (28) went from being a newlywed with a baby to being a widow after her husband tragically died in a car crash. It’s been a year since the death of her Zimbabwean husband, Farai Sibanda, and Kayise is still getting used to life without him.

She’s now getting back on screen to try to embrace the life she has now. She’s joined the cast of Housekeepers season 2, exploring a new side of herself in the industry.

STRENGTH TO MOVE ON

It hasn’t been easy finding the strength to move forward after losing her husband and the father of her one-year-old son, Tinashe. “That was painful. Shuuu! I don’t have the words for it,” Kayise says.

“What has kept me going is my son, my world. I realise I don’t need to prove myself, I can come as I am, it is all part of who I am. I think my journey will inspire others to rise above their tragedies. Life is really for the living. For as long as I am still breathing, I owe it to myself to look forward to the days ahead,” she adds.

Kayise has also had to deal with her own physical injuries from the crash which included many fractures.

At the time, she had been busy shooting a production but had to put that on hold until she got healed. Two months after the crash, she shared a video of herself in hospital where she is seen wearing an orthopaedic boot and using crutches while walking. She tried to find the words of how she was feeling a year ago, a month after the accident when she posted this on Instagram.

“I certainly don’t have the words to explicitly express how I’m coping without him, the pain is too great. I did however feel strong enough to type this caption out to simply say thank you for all of you who have carried my pain and reached out.

I am slowly recuperating from the injuries I sustained however my heart is far from healing. For now, this is all I can manage, till then continue to keep me in your prayers.” It’s taken a lot of effort to heal and get to a better place. And prayer is what has lifted her through it all. “I was raised in a prayerful family. My mother is [a] strong prayer warrior.

I think, by far, this is something that she has passed down to me. Although it has not always been easy to pray. Sometimes we question why life throws certain things at us. I have always tried to remember that even in my worst circumstances, God does not change. Sometimes He allows things to happen so He can show us our own strength.”

BACK ON SCREEN

Kayise is now back onscreen, this time as an actress. A lot of people didn’t know she could act, she says laughing. “I actually started acting before I started presenting,” the former Our Perfect Wedding (OPW) presenter says. South Africans fell in love with her when she started presenting the leading reality TV show in 2017.

She took over from guest presenter Lerato Zah Moloi and quickly became popular. She admits it is a pleasant surprise to have remained so memorable even after leaving the show. “OPW is a show that changed my life,” she adds. She’s delighted to have people welcome her back into the spotlight. “The response has been humbling and to see people embracing my return on their screens the way they have is amazing,” Kayise says.

In the Mzansi Magic’s Housekeepers season 2, she’s acting alongside thespians such as Thando Thabethe, Lindani Nkosi, Liopelo Maphathe, SK Khoza, Xolile Tshabalala, Lorcia Kumalo and Dumisani Mbebe. In the story, she plays a domestic worker, Beauty.

She is close with Linda (Thando Thabethe), another domestic worker who is confident and feisty, the opposite of what Beauty is. “She does not know how to stand up for herself , with a horrible boss too. She likes her job, I think,” Kayise says with a laugh. “It is really exciting to be playing this role. Understanding what domestic workers go through.

They put their lives on hold to take care of our homes. And we never really appreciate that,” she continues. After all she has gone through in the past year, she loves that she can get back to the dreams she wanted to fulfil.

“To be able to do it again is empowering. It allows me to be stronger and have confidence in my craft. I am excited, it could not have come at a better time. June marks a year since my life took a 360 [-degree turn] and it is a great to know that almost a year later, there has been some light and [I’ve] been able to rise above.”

TIME FOR DESTINY

She grew up in East London and knew her destiny was in the entertainment industry. As a multifaceted person, she was keen on planting herself where there was potential for growth.

“I have always put in the work to sort of find my place in the industry. I think I always looked at myself as someone who is a triple threat. As I got older, I was drawn to acting then presenting,” she tells Move!. She’s acted in a Mzansi Magic drama titled Complicated and Mina Nawe, an SABC1 drama.

Other productions she acted in were Lokshin Bioskop shows on Mzansi Magic. “I get DMs from aspiring actors who want to be in this space and questions like ‘Where do I start’ or ‘How do I begin?’ I was once that little girl who wanted to get a chance. I have really put in the work to be seen. I am grateful to be afforded the opportunities I have. But I have a whole lot more to give. I am on my way, but I have come far. I am looking forward to showing those people who didn’t know I could act a side of me they didn’t know.”

Kayise hopes this is the beginning of greater roles to come. “It is all love, it is a calling, it is not something you wake up one morning and decide to do. It really does demand a lot from you. I really want to continue exploring more of my talents. I want to find myself becoming a pioneer in the industry even if it is at an ownership level.

I want to create a platform for more creatives to enter the industry.” Kayise has also been working on what she calls a “passion project” in the past year. She can’t share too much about it for now but promises it will be out soon.

“Right now, I really just want to take charge of my career, to be stronger and embrace life. When you have gone through what I have been through, you die inside, so I really want to start embracing life and looking forward to the future.”

Drum