Kayise Ngqula & Lerato Sengadi open up about how lockdown has helped them deal with their grief
Despite their heartache and grief, widows Kayise Ngqula and Lerato Sengadi joined forces to help many people in SA deal with whatever loss they were experiencing during the lockdown period.
Kayise’s husband died in a car crash last year, while Lerato lost her partner, rapper HHP, a year earlier.
The pair took to Instagram LIVE to help those who are going through the most during the extended lockdown, opening a conversation about grieving for a loved one.
“It was a scary thing for me to do. I’ve been hesitant to do this but me and Lerato said we could do this together. We officially started talking soon after I had a baby and we are grateful to Thembisa Mdoda for bringing us together. We have since formed a sisterhood,” Kayise said.
Kayise also explained that their Instagram Live chat was not only about grieving their partners but, with the pandemic at hand, she believed that many people were grieving some sort of loss, be it their jobs, money or plans they had.
Starting their chat, Kayise asked Lerato about the love she and Jabba shared and how they met.
“I always told people that there was no way we couldn’t have landed with each other. We ran parallel lives. I’ve known him since I was 19. I was not even shaking for him … he wasn’t even my favourite rapper but he’d always just try to chat me up just to be my friend, and the love just grew that we shared for a decade.
“He couldn’t have ended up with anyone else, I think destiny and God’s will was at play no matter how we tried to avoid the situation, our love was God-given and anointed by God and the ancestors.”
Kayise reflected back on how she first saw her late husband at a pizza place and instantly fell in love.
“Our relationship was fun and loving. We always had a special connection that could not be disturbed by anyone or anything.”
Lerato expressed how the lockdown period had led her to sit down and deal with the loss of her husband.
“This coping question is so layered. It’s coping with Covid and also the loss of my husband. This is the first time since Jabba’s passing that I’ve had time to sit down quietly and say … because from the moment he passed away I’ve always been on fight mode.
So, this is the first time that I’ve had time to reflect and grieve.”
Lerato explained that God had put the lockdown for her to take time and breathe, as she needed to take a timeout from all that she was trying to fight for.
Kayise expressed how she was using the lockdown time to become a better person and how she was unpacking what grief was.
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I know for a fact that family isn't always who you're born with. Sometimes it's beyond blood and it carries a significant bond. Today @leratolicious1 share ours with you. Please do join us for a live chat at 3pm to talk love, loss and everything in between. Bring a glass of ? and tissues if you want to, it might get teary! ❤